you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
