'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
