drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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