Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
