lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
