Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
