Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
