I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
