and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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