I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
no you cant smoke seaweed
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
