I'm eating all of the evidence.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
