she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
