Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
