just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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