Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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