boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
