i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
