I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
