Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
