***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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