it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
