Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
