Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
