Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I smell stomach acid.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Your shirt... Was in my pants
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
