Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
