yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
