I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
