it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I have aggressive nipples.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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