Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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