Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
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