I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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