did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
