I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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