when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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