so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
