so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
