K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
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