Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
