we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
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