Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
