I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
