I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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