i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
