Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
