pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
