So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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