i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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