1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
