Kareoke will never be a sober sport
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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