Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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